I am a Pirate! Essay

[Sibling Qwertyuiopasd]

Essay of the college variety. Here's my 300 word personal essay.

I am a pirate. I don’t commit crimes on the high seas, or pillage cities, or even spend much time on boats.
I identify as a pirate though, and express that identity every Friday at school dressed entirely as a pirate.
My piracy has stemmed from two main inspirations, but has come to symbolize many facets of my life.

In 8th grade, I was introduced and quite taken by the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, a satirist movement based on the opposition of teaching Intelligent Design in public schools.
There is a sort of mock religion involved, which includes the tenets that pirates are the FSM’s most favored creation (as evidenced by global temperatures rising as pirates populations have thinned), and Fridays being the holiest day of the week.
Naturally, I dress in full pirate regalia to express my allegiance to the ideals of religious freedom and plurality.

I also sympathize with the Pirate Party, an international political party originating in Sweden that is dissatisfied with the current patent and copyright system, and advocates for personal privacy, especially in terms of the internet and technology.

As my friends and I began to dress as pirate, we also became interested in the steampunk fad, which advocates doing the impossible for the sake of doing the impossible (while dressing in Victorian science fiction style).
I do not, however, support or condone the actions of modern pirates, such as the ones from Somalia.

My take on piracy is that of a free, audacious lifestyle adhering to ideals I stated above.
I will always fight dirty of something I believe in.
I will always wear a giant black tri-corner hat and ask why you aren’t.
I will always do what I want ‘cause a pirate is free.
I couldn’t exist any other way.

Any constructive criticism is of course entirely welcome, but I'm mostly posting it here just to share. What do you think? Do you agree with the lifestyle outlined?

[Sibling Zono (anon1mat0)]

Sir Q! Good to see you on these ports.
---
I wouldn't be able to criticize your essay (heck, this isn't even my 1st language) but I can make the following commentary:

Are you an anarchist?
 

[Griffin NoName]

[Psychic Hotline Host]

There is a sort of mock religion involved, which includes the tenets that pirates are the FSM’s most favored creation (as evidenced by global temperatures rising as pirates populations have thinned),

I have a question. Has the increase of Somalian pirates been factored into global temperatures?

[Scriblerus the Philosophe]

The first two section ought, imo, be made into proper paragraphs.

[Griffin NoName]

[Psychic Hotline Host]

The first two section ought, imo, be made into proper paragraphs.

I doubt if pirates ever do proper paragraphs. Q just needs to submit it on a Friday

[Aggie]

Bracket (FSM) on first occurrence, I think the 'of' after dirty is supposed to be a 'for', but it's probably just a tpyo.

[Sibling Qwertyuiopasd]

Much improved and more formatted edition:

I am a pirate. I do not commit crimes on the high seas, or pillage cities, or even spend much time on boats. However, I identify myself as a pirate, and I express that identity every Friday at school by dressing entirely as a pirate. My piracy stems from two main sources, but has come to symbolize many facets of my life.

In eighth grade I was introduced to the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (FSM), a movement opposed to the teaching Intelligent Design in public schools. The satirical religion includes the tenets that pirates are the FSM’s most favored creation (as evidenced by global temperatures increasing as pirate populations have declined); and that Friday is the holiest day of the week. I dress in full pirate regalia to express my allegiance to the ideals of religious freedom and plurality.

As my friends and I began to dress as pirates, we also became interested in the steampunk fad, which supports doing impossible things for the sake of doing the impossible (whilst dressing in Victorian science-fiction style).
I also sympathize with the Pirate Party, an international political party originating in Sweden that is dissatisfied with the current patent and copyright systems; and advocates for personal privacy, especially in regards the internet and communication technologies.

I do not, however, support or condone the actions of modern so-called pirates, such as the ones from Somalia. My perspective on piracy is that it is a free, audacious lifestyle adhering to the ideals I stated above.

I will always fight dirty for something I believe in.
I will always wear a giant black tricorn hat, and ask why you are not.
I will always do what I want because a pirate is free.
I could not exist any other way.

[Opsanus tau]

Serious, piratin', my dear Qwerty.

I would favor a conclusive statement at the end to top the thing off, finish 'er off, do 'im in, and whatnot.

[Sheila]

 

[Aggie]

Steampunk? I'm charpunk... can't wait to start gasifying & charing.